Last night I sat in a room filled with men who are cultivating the Divine Masculine. Men who are anchored in their hearts - men who are anchored in their MASCULINITY It was a beautiful thing to witness, to be a part of, to soften into. It was the welcoming home ceremony for MEN and I do mean MEN! who just completed The New Warrior Training through The Mankind Project (mkp.org) . I cried through the whole evening. So grateful to be Feminine in the presence of the Masculine. So grateful to be opened by these hearts... I witnessed these men standing in their power, sharing their hearts, speaking of TRUST, speaking of LOVE. Showing UP in such a PRESENT and PROFOUND way. Men of all ages, all walks of life, all religions - - - all joined together in Brotherhood. When my husband Craig came home from this event 2 years ago, I welcomed home a new man. A man in his power with a beautiful heart. A man I could open even deeper to. I am in awe and in deep gratitude for this organization and how they are redefining the MASCULINE!

I know my next post was supposed to be more on the masculine and feminine and I’ll come back to it. I promise. There’s been something else that’s also been on my mind a lot lately. It’s the idea of being ‘addicted to your process’. You know what I mean? Continuing to hash and rehash your childhood, your divorce, the acne you had in junior high. We as a society are addicted to processing. Addicted to going in and digging up ‘the what’ and ‘the why’ we are the way we are. The story of what’s happened to us and the effect. The other side of this coin of course is ‘spiritual bypassing’. The art of ignoring all of our story and just skipping right to the bliss. When we watch The Secret or listen to too much Abraham/Hicks we can drop into this state. Spiritual bypassing doesn’t allow any process – for fear it might lead to a thought that’s not in alignment with our highest intention. And that might keep us from manifesting exactly what we want. Yes our ‘story’ is important AND yes our thoughts affect what we manifest. The key is balance. Knowing your ‘story’ enough to move forward. To move through it without getting stuck. Not skipping it altogether for the sake of not wanting to feel anything ‘negative’. AND being willing to go ‘story-less’ and drop into who you’re really here to be. So what does that look like? For starters it’s checking in and asking – do I know my story? Am I intimately familiar with my patterns, my hardships, with the experiences that have made me who I am? Basically if you’ve ever been in therapy, you’ve probably got this down. The next question is: Am I stuck in my story? Do I still blame my dad because I don’t have a good relationship with men? Am I still hung up on the guy who cheated on me in college? Is my mom’s alcoholism still holding me back? Do I keep digging in deeper and processing more? Is it more about what happened to me than what I can do to heal it? I have definitely been in both categories. Spiritually bypassing first, of course, because that was the easier route. ‘Just think positive thoughts and it’ll all heal’. Then realizing that the patterns just weren’t changing. That I did need to dig in and get to know my story. The truth of it. I needed to process all the childhood stuff in order to understand myself, especially in regards to being a mother and a wife. And when that happened… yes, I got stuck for awhile. I got stuck in the blame… In the victim energy…. In the anger…. Coming out the other side has been quite a transformation. Bringing the spiritual healing online with the ‘story’. Merging both parts. The talk therapy and the energetics. I’ve found, through my own personal experience and with the clients I see - it’s the combination that serves us best. So ask yourself. Where do I tend to fall? Leaning toward processing my stuff over and over. Or skipping it all together - sure if I read enough Ekhart Tolle, it’ll all be all right. Whaddya say – should we find a way to come back to the middle?

By now many of you have seen my new article called "Making Space for Love" in the newest Finer Minds newsletter. If you haven't had a chance to read it yet here's the link. If you like it leave a comment :-) In the article I listed some ways to really let go and make space for love in your life. To release those past lovers so you have room for your true partner. Because when we carry all that old energy around it can really create a block to love. One of the things I’ve found with my private clients is when we clear the energetic residue from past lovers – HUGE transformations occur. One beautiful, amazing woman I worked with was still lingering on an old boyfriend. We did a clearing to move his energy out of her heart and just two weeks later she called in an awesome and comitted new partner. I’ve seen this happen enough times to know that the energetic clearing is a huge part of calling in our true partners – it worked for me too. This technique is one I guide women through in private sessions and teach in Soulmate School (www.soulmateschool.com). If you’d like to learn how to do this clearing for yourself – I’ll be sharing how on my free call: Juiciness 101: Secrets for Calling in Your Soulmate on Tuesday March 8 at 5:15 pm PST. If you can’t make the call, I’ll send you an mp3 to listen later. Plus you'll also learn how to increase your radiance (yes this one is for the ladies). Literally shine your light so your true partner can find you. Would love to have you join us! To register for the call click here. For more information about the call or to share it with friends here’s the link. Much love to you.

So many women share with me how they want a “real man” not a boy.
We want a man who is Masculine AND Loving. Strong AND Open.

As my husband Craig teaches men to do - we want a man who brings his balls and his heart together…

Mmmmhhhmmmm. YES! That’s the kind of man we want.

So…. how do we get it?

It starts with our own connection to our Feminine Presence. If we want the Masculine we have to bring the Feminine. Just like magnets right? Opposites attract.

And yet, we as women don’t really have a model in our culture of HOW to do this. We are inundated constantly with how to “look” more feminine... prettier... sexier...

But how do we really embrace the energy of it at our core? And where is the model for the empowerment in the feminine? WE are the ones creating it.

So a little history… Prior to the 1970’s women didn’t have a lot of choices outside of the home – outside of the “traditional feminine model”. Men were men and women were women and that was that. Sexual polarity was built in. Opposites attract.

Yet in the era of our grandmothers and, for those of us over 40, our mothers – women didn’t have power. And men certainly weren’t encouraged to feel their hearts.

Then in the 70’s it all changed. Women began reclaiming their power. We entered into predominantly “masculine” careers. And to do so we had to act like men. If you look at the fashions of that era, “powerful” women even dressed like men (and yes many still do).

Women had to take on a strong masculine shell to gain power and move ahead in a “man’s world” and I, for one, am so GRATEFUL to those Revolutionary Women. They opened the world for us.

At the same time, in the 70’s, men were encouraged to begin exploring their feelings. Opening their hearts. And the “new-age, heart-centered, spiritual man” was born, and I'm so grateful to him too. He brought the heart on board.

The problem is that it the “masculine woman” and the “feminine man” don’t tend to create strong polarity – there’s not a lot of hot sex going on in this dynamic. Yes, opposites attract – but not if we aren’t in connection with our true sexual essence. As David Deida (author of The Way of the Superior Man - which is a must read) writes: your true sexual essence is feminine if you want to be entered, and masculine if you want to enter.

So assuming you want to be entered… ;-) How do we get the Feminine back online in a totally empowered way - so that we can attract the HOT, Masculine, Loving man we yearn for?

It starts with feeling into your own heart.

Digging into the cracks and crevices. Exploring all that’s in there. Go on an adventure of self-discovery. The love, the joy, the hurt, the pain. ALL of it.

Begin to create a compassionate relationship with your own HEART. Allow the vulnerability to come out - allow it to come up.

Let the fear be there too – it’s all OK. It’s been with you all along.

Now is the time to get to know it –

deeply

intimately

lovingly

forgivingly

Treat your heart as you want your lover to treat you. Drop into that total intimacy with yourself.

What the Masculine truly desires in relationship is the Feminine Heart.

Your heart – your vulnerability – is your greatest gift.

Let’s embrace it.

Tomorrow is the last day of 2010. What are your New Year's Plans? I used to love to go out to big parties for New Year's. I'd get all dressed up and excited, anticipating the awesome night ahead. And yet every year I was left feeling a little empty. Being around people drinking themselves silly while wearing silly hats just didn't seem fun to me anymore. So I started having intentional passings of the year. Sitting with a few friends, playing some music and talking about the year. What we loved about it and what we were ready to let go of. Then we set intentions for the New Year. Not resolutions but intentions. Not something to feel guilty about come February but an actual list of what you want to manifest in the year to come. Are you ready for more love in 2011? Here's an exercise you can do tomorrow night to set that intention for next year. First, get quiet. Maybe light a candle or a fire. Take several deep breaths. Drop into yourself. Imagine sending roots into the earth to help you feel more grounded Then, get clear about what has been in your way. What has been blocking love. Do you have limiting beliefs you are ready to let go of? Are you holding on to the fantasy of getting back together with an old lover? Does your "inner critic" run your life? Do you always give and never receive? Write all these things down. Build a fire and release them. Now set your intentions. What do you need to shift in your life to bring in more love? Is it more self-love? Self-respect? Conscious Language? Receptivity? Remember that we first have to give ourselves what we want from our partners. So if you want a partner who nurtures you, set an intention to nurture yourself. Get specific. Write these things down as intentions. For example, "In 2011, I intend to catch my negative self-talk and transform it into loving statements about myself." Write your list of intentions and place them where you can see them all the time - where they will stay in the forefront of your consciousness. And if you still want to go out and wear a silly hat - you'll feel more fulfilled doing so ;D

Most people who know me think I am really good at receiving. I take baths. I go for long walks by myself. I receive amazing healing work. I eat beautiful organic food. I have a husband who is very present and loves me very much. And yet I am often left unsatisfied. Do you ever feel that way? Like you've just had this awesome gift and yet it doesn't feel complete? Sort of like when I eat an entire bag of cookies and still want more... I realized that what I've been doing is hoarding and not receiving! Like a squirrel putting away nuts for winter - I've been gathering up the self-care because "maybe I'll need it to get me through the winter". And if I were to just sit and BE PRESENT and really RECEIVE the gifts - maybe I'd feel satisified? Maybe I'd feel like I didn't have to keep gathering more for "the hard times ahead"? So I'm trying out a new way of receiving... First I stop and breathe and get present (the cookie eater does NOT want to do this!). Then I ask myself "am I truly receiving the gifts of this moment?". It can be as simple as receiving an inhale or the sunshine or the universe filling me with love. I've noticed that when I am present to this new way of being, when I see the polarity of the hoarder versus the receiver, I am slower, calmer and easier with myself. Really learning that BEING truly is RECEIVING.

I have been asked this question quite a lot this past week. Last weekend I led The Attract Your Soulmate Weekend at an incredible retreat center in the mountains of Santa Barbara. How did it go? For me, it felt like a huge exhale, like coming home. Sitting in a circle of women in a magical place – that alone is wonderful! Then to have such a present group of women… the way these 10 women held space for each other, listened to each other, supported each other, LOVED each other really blew me away! Most of them had never met before and by the end of the weekend they were sisters. Sisters coming home to themselves. Sisters connecting with the divine in themselves and in each other. Women reclaiming their joy and radiance. Women falling in love - with themselves! wow How did it go? There aren’t words. I am in deep, deep gratitude and feel so amazingly blessed.

Our culture is great at telling us how to be feminine and sexy “Wear this, use this product, eat this, and you will be prettier, younger, sexier…then you can get a man.” I have an idea. What if we as women decide to be feminine, sexy, radiant – juicy even – just for ourselves. Just for the fun of dancing with the feminine. Just to play in it. Not for a man but for us. It’s happening. It almost feels like a revolution – definitely a reclamation. Goddess playshops, women’s dance tribes, glitter, feathers, wings – and no men invited. We are reclaiming our divine feminine nature in order to nurture ourselves. To be sexy on the inside. To be sensual for the sake of pleasure. To be in love with ourselves. Yes, all of this will attract a man…but that is the icing on the cake - not the purpose. Play with the feminine. Dress up with your girlfriends. Wear glitter and bindhis for fun. It can change your life – I know from first hand experience… I just bought a purple jumpsuit and feather hair clip from my friend Christabel (http://www.lightbliss.com/delicious_life/) and those purchases in a small (and juicy) way changed who I am as a woman.